Feeling Roots Grow

It was Sunday afternoon. The sun was shining, but there was a little bit of wind that made one want a jacket. Alex and I were in the park with three other couples who we knew on varying levels of new friendships. The guys, myself, and one of the other women were tossing a frisbee around in often comic futility to the breeze and lack of practice. Soon the other woman playing frisbee dropped out to stand with the other two. The three of them started to take a walk around the park.

“Pst, Victoria!” I hear, as one of the women waves me over to join them on their stroll. I happily moved out of the frisbee circle and joined them, a feeling of beautiful, warm wanted-ness and friendship seeping into my soul.

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It was Monday night, and me and four other women sat in a half circle on the couch. We talked about how we all ended up in Midland, our engagement stories, shared pictures of our wedding dresses. We laughed at jokes. We got real with each other and teared up. We prayed for each other and encouraged each other. It was a salve of female companionship which I have so often craved and needed since moving. I left the prayer group with the feeling of shared burdens with shared comfort and support, glowing in the optimistic knowledge that this was just the beginning, and my relationships with these women is going to continue to deepen and grow.

Goodbye 2020

I think most people are happy to see 2020 in the rearview mirror this year, and I can’t say it’s been the best for me either. My one New Years resolution to see Amy fell through in the midst of travel restrictions and Alex being out of work for 6 months. (Guess what my resolution is for ’21? That’s right, see Amy for goodness sake). It wasn’t just Amy’s travel plans that fell through, but several plans to see friends and family came crashing to the ground and made me so often feel isolated and alone. We struggled with finding a home church. We struggled with fear. We struggled with an overabundance of time and not enough good things to fill it with. My wisdom teeth have literally decided to rear their ugly heads and cause me occasional headaches.

But I can’t look back and say it was all bad. I started the year thinking that I just couldn’t take the pre-Covid isolation and loneliness of Midland much longer, and have come out the other side thinking I’d be hesitant to move elsewhere. I have found some friends. I have realized just how amazing the job I have is and how much I love working there and the coworkers I am surrounded with. Even with COVID I’ve managed to travel to Montana and see a friend married, my new nephew, the blessings that still seem to come even amidst a world that seems to be so broken.

I wish I could say I’ve grown a lot in this time, but I’m not sure I have. I’ve coped, and I’ve managed, and I’ve made some progress in a few areas, while also continuing the same struggles in many others. I haven’t made the most of this year. I haven’t even made an average amount in this year. But I’ve still progressed, especially in finding friends and being more content where I am, and those are two very big wins for me.

I know a lot of change could still be coming my way (will Alex find a job somewhere else entirely and all my progress settling into Midland go out the window? Stay tuned to find out, I guess?) and I still have a lot of growth to achieve, and my goal this year is to take whatever happens, good or bad, easy or hard, and direct it towards God, who is bigger than whatever 2021 can throw at me.