A Hike, a Wedding, and Being Back with Family and Friends

This is a very overdue post, but since I still have a few photos to share and some memories to jot down, here’s a quick run down on Alex and my 4th of July trip back home.

A return trip to Montana is always good for my soul. I tried this time to not be too crazy about scheduling every hour of every day, but did have some big plans to make sure each day had quality friend and family in it. Of course, life intervened to mess around with plans anyway. I guess that’s just how it goes. Here’s to being flexible and having fun anyways.

We flew in Sunday (Because for some reason ticket prices were insane on Saturday). I had a lovely dinner with girlfriends, falling back into those old friendships seamlessly. It was so amazing to be sitting among them again, talking about life, laughing, enjoying a drink, and just having friends again. I’ve missed them all so much. We tried having a bonfire later, but the rain picked up and we sheltered inside instead.

The next day Alex and I hung out with Dad and Christian. We did some shopping around town, we went to ZooMontana and wandered around the beautiful grounds there. We met my Aunt for lunch and got a short chance to catch up with her. Christian took us to the local volunteer fire department, where he showed us all the places he hides his snacks. Then he got Alex and I doing some of the exercises he does to stay in shape for firefighting. No surprise, I don’t cut it as a firefighter.

Tuesday we finally got out into the mountains! Christian, Alex, and I headed out to Mystic Lake. It was a beautiful day in a beautiful place. Except for the twenty minutes at the top, where it rained and the wind blew such that we couldn’t see anything and it was cold and we felt the need to turn around. But technically we made it! (It is apparently Alex’s curse to always have bad weather near the views on a hike. We’ll have to break that at some point)

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We caught up with Schaners that night, having some lemonade and dessert out on their patio. And then we ran into Jenna at the grocery store! Such luck!

Wednesday we kidnapped Liza and did lunch at Stacks (AMAZING burgers). And ran into Jenna having lunch there! Such luck!

We had a hotel for the next few nights, so we checked into that, and then I got ready and went to party late into the night for Kayla’s bachelorette party. We went to the Rims Martini Bar (I had a Mango Habanero  Martini. I loved it, but it did have a kick!) We played some games, and then went over to someone’s house to eat snacks and drink more and stay up way too late talking. The only picture I managed to snap was of a picture of (slightly tipsy) me and a snuggly cat. I think I finally made it back to the hotel around 2:30ish, reluctant to leave but needing sleep. But it turns out my key card didn’t work, and the hotel didn’t have a 24 hour lobby. So I had to call and wake poor Alex up to come down and let me in. Poor guy.

Just look how amazing these waffles look ❤

Thursday I slept in, obviously. We met Alex’s sister and her husband for brunch at The Sassy Biscuit, which just might be the best breakfast restaurant I’ve ever been to in my life; a must visit any time I’m in town. It was a wonderful visit and we cherished our time with them. (We’re lucky they also have connections in both Montana and Texas and see them more often than many in his family)

We finished the night be attending rehearsal dinner.

Christian: “Any good photo of me is always of me holding a fish”

Friday I spent the morning hanging out with my sister (Finally a scheduled meeting, after a week of somehow seeing her everywhere). Then we got Alex and Broskovich and took Broskovich out for a birthday lunch of sushi.

And of course it was wedding night! We had a blast dancing the night away at Kayla and Keagan’s wedding, chatting with friends, and just having a jolly good time.

 

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Saturday was a quiet day with family. Sunday we were supposed to fly home, but alas, I had developed what felt like a head cold! We made the decision to postpone our return home, and I ended up sleeping it off within a couple days and was all good to go home on Wednesday, though unfortunately we felt the need to stay away from people for most of it. We spent the days playing video games; introducing Broski to Civ, playing some old school Mario Kart, and doing some puzzles.

It was rough not getting a final goodbye with everyone, who I had planned to see at Church on Sunday before heading out. It left me feeling… unfulfilled might be the best word for it? I wanted more time with my friends, more time with the people I miss ever so desperately, and I didn’t even get a goodbye. I got several days so close but unable to reach out. It still stings. Lets hope this habit of coming down with something every time I go back doesn’t last, it’s been absolutely frustrating.

Alex said something once along the lines of how I can never have just a relaxing vacation in going back: I’m always trying to soak in every second and get all I can because I have to get enough to tide me over through the long periods of not being there. He meant it in a frustrated way, I think. Not at me, but at how he feels sorry I’ve not found that home in Midland, how he feels guilty for his part in pulling me to Texas, how even going back is tainted a bit with the desperateness I approach it with after being away. I can’t say he’s wrong that there will always be a desperateness to it, how much I miss and long for and NEED so many things there. I do have to get my time in my place with my people when I can get it. And it doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy my life in Texas with him, or regret anything that brought me here. And goodness knows I’m trying to find that community here.  But going to Montana will also make me come back to Texas with a more intense homesickness than usual. As I look over the photos and memories again, it already feels so far away, and my heart breaks at how long it will be until I see the people and places I miss again.

#TheIDosOfMarch

So much to say about the last few weeks. So much planning and crafting and shopping and Pinterest, coffee to fuel it all, snaps of ideas sent back and forth. There’s no way I can summize it all to my satisfaction, but an attempt at the highlights must be made.

All was coming together so well, I didn’t ever feel like I hit the stressed bride stage (thanks to a lot of organization, time management, and support). Until Alex’s flight up to me was cancelled two days before the wedding. Cue me stress eating and watching as family tried to find new flights as Denver got the snowstorm of the year and cancelled all flights going in and out for two days. Flights in and out elsewhere were disappearing by the second and prices were skyrocketing. Three hours later and we finally find him a flight to the wedding, yay!

The morning of the wedding we had all hands on deck to decorate the venue (Billings Depot is so beautiful; I was able to minimally decorate and not worry about dressing it up too much. Also, they were crazy helpful. I loved working with them)

If I could change one thing about my wedding, it would be that I’d want Mom there. I was glad I could commemorate her by placing a photo and some flowers on one of the front chairs

Since Alex loves chocolate milk so much, it seemed fitting to have a chocolate milk bar at our wedding!

I was so happy to get ready with some of my closest friends. I was so surrounded with love as I took this new step in my life.

My goodness! Seeing myself in my dress on my wedding day and feeling like a bride was an amazing feeling!

It wouldn’t have been the same without these girls

Was super thankful for the girls help in crafting their paper flower bouquets, they turned out so well!

And then finally seeing Alex before the ceremony and getting some photos done. I loved doing first look and photos before the actual ceremony. It let me spend time with the man my day was actually centered on instead of being frustrated at not seeing him.

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And then the ceremony! Promising to love and cherish and spend the rest of my life with the man of my dreams.

After a beautiful ceremony, we moved across the venue to celebrate the start of our marriage with friends and family.

We’re a couple of dorks. It’s adorable.

Here’s to the start of a wonderful life together.

Photo credit to the amazing Sara Nagel!

One Week Until I’m Married To the Love of My Life

My goodness, where has the time gone? It seems like not that long ago that I was a just a single girl floating through life, meeting random men who for whatever reason never quite were what I was looking for. I was happy back then to enjoy my solo adventures and spending time with friends and doing my own thing. But I couldn’t be happy with that now. It feels like Alex has become such a part of me that it’s weird to imagine life before him, weird to think I could be content as the person I was before I had found the man who completed me so perfectly.

We were talking about how our prior dating histories and how they had shaped what we were looking for in a spouse. I felt like with each new person I’d find a bit more clarity to what I needed and wanted – like a blurred picture that came a little bit more into focus as I met people and worked out what I liked and didn’t like. And then Alex came along and that picture snapped into focus, and it was him. He was everything I could possibly need and want.

If I start to write all the reasons I love him and how he’s so perfect for me, I’ll find it hard to stop and it will never satisfy me as complete. I leave it to future posts about our life together to focus on pieces of it. Suffice it to say that I’m so proud of him for who he is as an individual – his strength of character, his priorities, and his pursuit of conforming to the man God calls him to be. I’m so blessed with how good he is for me and how well we work together – his strengths balance out my weaknesses, we both want the same things out of life, and he pushes me to be the best I can be. And he’s my best friend – he can make me laugh harder than anyone else can, we can talk endlessly about about anything and everything, we enjoy the same sort of thoughts and activities and adventures and have so much fun just spending time together. I cannot imagine a better man to marry, and I’m going to be so honored and overjoyed to be his wife in just one short week.

It struck me how much I have come to rely on him recently. I was having a down day. In my single days this meant isolating myself in my room, pushing the feelings aside and trying to distract myself with a book or Netflix. If it was a particularly struggling day maybe I’d resort to a blog post to help process through it and trigger some tears. But now I run to him. If I’m frustrated with life, him telling me he loves me suddenly makes the sun shine again. If I’m feeling low-spirited, talking to him can cheer me up. I cried when on the phone with him the other day, and he was there for me. He probably didn’t think much of it, but I’ve not cried in front of anyone for so long – it’s never been easy for me and I thought it never would be. But it was so easy to be that vulnerable with him, and I was so much the better for it. I don’t feel alone when I struggle anymore. I feel like I have a safe haven to run to when life gets hard and that I can process and struggle and be weak with someone and feel loved and supported through it, and it’s amazing.

7 days until the best day of my life.

It’s been a whirlwind few months getting ready for it all. I had a beautiful Bridal Shower thrown for me at church. It was decorated with books and flowers made from pages of stories, had tea and cupcakes, a his and her puzzle game, and wonderful advice from a dear mentor at church. It’s been wonderful to feel all the support and love that has been poured out to Alex and I during this new stage of our lives, even from people who wouldn’t be able to pick him out of the crowd and who I only know from seeing a few times at church. 

I also had a blast of a time at my Bachelorette Party. Jenna knocked it out of the park with planning. Her and me, Kayla, Kathy, Kate, and Lisa went up to Bozeman for the night, where we owned an escape room, got dressed up and went to the restaurant Copper for some amazingly delicious food, hopped around some of the main street bars getting drinks and trying to accomplish a scavenger hunt she had put together for us, and returned to the room to read the strange marriage advice strangers had given us for the hunt and to sit around and laugh and talk and have just the most perfect of evenings enjoying friendship. We went to the Bozeman Hot Springs the next morning to relax after our late night partying, got lunch at Jam! (with an amazing maple latte, too) and made it home before the roads got too bad from all the snow. It’s a wonderful weekend I will always cherish. Having those days to just cut loose and celebrate and have those memories with my friends has been a highlight of this whole wedding process.

I think I’ve just about got the details of actual wedding planning done, I just have a few loose ends to tie up. I left my job on Tuesday – I’ll always remember my time at Associated Employers fondly, they were a wonderful employer for many years – and am enjoying the extra free time to get stuff done, take naps, and spend time with people. I’m in the process of trying to meet one on one with friends and get some good quality time before the craziness of next week and moving to Texas after. I’ve moved out of my apartment, and am floating between my sister’s house in Billings and my dad’s house in Joliet. I thought it would be weirder not having a place to call home, but it really hasn’t been. Every step of closing out my old life reminds me I’m getting closer to entering into my new one. I’m ready for my physical home to finally meet up with where I feel like I belong  – with Alex. He’s felt more like home than anywhere else for some time now, and I’m so so excited to be home in 7 days.